SOMEWHERE ALONG IN THE BITTERNESS

Pisces Daily Horoscope of April 29, 2010:

Paying attention pays off. Note of the little things today to get the edge you need.

Things are a little crazy today, but you have more personal energy than you realize. It’s a good day to push back against the upheaval that’s going on all around you, though it may feel tough.

Trust is one of the most important aspects of your life — not only trusting other people, but trusting yourself. Do you listen to your own instincts, or override them with logic? Do you pay attention to your feelings, or do you dismiss them as not being important? Now is the time to examine your attitudes toward yourself. There’s no need to make any sudden changes, though. Just sit there and think about patterns you’ve noticed in yourself.

-After school, I went to Mama’s and turns out I had to go to Jan Ann’s bbq. I’m glad I did go because the food and her company is always wonderful. We watched Brothers while we were there. Then, we had to leave because Emjay needed to go home real quick, and then off to visit Moana! I got new rings. Thank Butterfly :). Then back to Jan Ann’s place and everyone else was there. I walked in and then walked out with Butterfly to talk. We both needed it, but I wanted to be there for her to vent out too. As hypocritical as I am, I know it’s not good to hold things in all the time. Especially when you’re on the verge of breaking down. After our talk, we went back in and had a real good time just laughing with Jan Ann, Mama, and Butterfly. Finally, we had to go separate ways. Said our buh-byes and off we left to Tara’s! Bubba growled at me because I sat in a weird position. Dumb dog! Then Mama and I went to my house and ate more. Yeah, we’re fat.

-I have some aspects to think about.. 

missapl:

spittinvividly:

Dear all couples,

I’m writing on this white clean wrinkled napkin, just to capture your attention. Whoever pick this up please listen up. I’ve come to this exact bar every single day of my life since the death of my wife. I didn’t come here to get drunk or to meet a new lady to call my wife but I came here to reminisce on the day where I knew that I could start an eternal life with her. 

She was beautifully dressed in her red dress, she had no excess baggage, she was perfectly refined, skin tone; light brown. Her body moved like a flowing river, it gave me shivers down my spine. I was of course prepared to recite my one liners, hoping to god that she would take it and give me her number. I walked up to her and her detailed smile and persona was evened out by her intelligent mind and diligent mentality. I was instantly hooked on her, I listened to her speak and it felt like I was with the most amazing woman ever. I didn’t even want to get her in bed, I wanted to get in her head. Cause the only time I got fucked was when my mind was mind fucked. She shed light on the darkest spots in my mind, she taught me that every woman out there isn’t like what they’re portrayed in TV. 

I asked her for her phone number but all I got was an email. We emailed back and forth, until I found out she lived in Australia. She was a humanitarian, she traveled to places like Africa, Philippines and Haiti just to help build houses and schools for the needy kids. She invited me to a missionary in Africa, she was a visionary, thought that every person even the poorest deserve to know the word love. And not think of it as a myth. 

I did this for about 3 years, we weren’t dating but we might as well be. I was with her 24/7. I didn’t even try and have sex with her, seduce her, or even try and ask her on a date. We both were busy trying to do things for these kids, for the people of these 3rd world countries. I eventually asked her out with the help of the kids in the Philippines, I bought her these roses at the local flower shop. Got her sweet corn from the neighboring shacks on the side of the road and we shared a meal that would be our anniversary tradition.

Though this story does not get better but it gets worse…Read on.

She had HIV and I guess thats why we never tried to have a kid nor did we even try to have intimate sex. All we did was hold each other, kiss each other, for our love for each was enough, it was far beyond the physical. I never complained I was instead more intertwined with love as opposed to the past relationships I was in. We were happily married for 15 years, she died on March 4th. And so forth then, I’ve continued our work without her cause I know if she was still here, she would want me to continue and not give up til our dream for a better life for these kids would be known and be shown throughout the world. 

I guess you can say I’m here venting on this white napkin because, well, let’s be honest writing a thought down and leaving it for someone to read it, is non-intimate. None of the parties have to see each other cry or see each other sad. I hope that whoever is reading this understands true love, that even though you may not have sex you can still love that person. 

Sincerely, 

Anonymous.

-Spittinvividly

Had an eventful day. Mama took the day off and needed a get away and I came along. Somehow Emjay convinced Mama and Goldie to let her drive us up there. Master-plan-child to the rescue >;). So we picked Goldie up and had two hours to do whatever we wanted because she had to be back at work by eight. So shopping is where we spent time and money. Brought Goldie into a thrift store for her first time, I think. Haha, and she found something to buy! After, we dropped Goldie off, then went to the mall to eat jollibee, and Mama bought a $200 worth straightener for just $90. Good deal. She’s such a girl :p. We drove to Walgreens after, since Lucky and CVS were both closed and they needed their cigarettes. SECOND HAND SMOKING KILLS! Haha, but I said it was okay for them to smoke around me. Thanks for being courteous of my health and opinion. Then we met up with Goldie at her work and decided to get starbucks before we left.

Thanks for the adventure today. I managed to enjoy myself.

Thank you Goldie for staying with me in the store when I went shopping. Thank you Tatay for taking Kuya Ann(e?) out and for the understanding talk when you dropped me home. Thank you Mama for taking me away with you to escape a part of reality for a while.

I don’t agree that banning happy meals will make a difference in what the child eats. The parents have the control over what their children eat. Apparently they need to remove happy meals out of the entire menu in order to keep kids from eating unhealthy foods. So there’s no toy - there still the rest of the menu left, just bigger portions. If parents don’t have enough control to say “no” to a happy meal, how are they going to avoid the regular meals? Also, making unhealthy food decisions isn’t the only cause of obesity. The lack of exercise is one of the leading causes of obesity as well. They may ban the happy meals and they toys that come with it, but there are plenty of TV shows, gaming devices, and much more that will keep a child sitting on the couch for hours rather than getting 60 minutes of exercise which is recommended by the panel of national obesity experts.

And don’t say these happy meal toys (from McDonalds) were sick.

(via nikkiegalinato)

I read about this on yahoo news this morning :)

Pisces Daily Horoscope of April 27, 2010:

They’re looking for a doormat, not a partner. Be happy you’re out of the running.

There’s a lot going on today, and you may need to move on from old business before you’re quite ready. That’s fine — as long as you find a way to honor what has come and gone recently.

You’re all set to make a real name for yourself right away. If you can apply yourself 100% to the task currently at hand, and keep on applying yourself for the foreseeable future, all will be well. You know you can do it, and you know who to rely on for assistance, so there’s not much to worry about. Just make sure that once you make it, you don’t forget about those who’ve loved and supported you through all of this.

-Thank you guys for yesterday. Ihop for breakfast, movie day, and for the visits and drives around.

I am the way I am for a reason. Have you ever asked me a question to understand why I am a particular way and to know a new fact about me? If you have done so, you would completely understand the reasons behind me and know that the way I choose to react upon situations work best for me. I wish I could be more at ease, I wish I could have more time to live a little, but what you don’t know is what you’ve never bothered to find out about. I try to abandon the unhappiness I find in me, and I live with what makes me happy.

I’m thankful to have those in my life who have taken the time to know, accept, and comfort me. I’m thankful for those who are concerned and have shared their personal opinions.

This is me and I’m happy with how I am.

lovemayism:

jaelasoul:

- Murs | The Pain

Pisces Daily Horoscope of April 16, 2010:

You’re one of the most sensitive people in your world, so when something seems to be a bit off today, you’re the first to know. One tiny, inconvenient little fact that’s out of place may be bothering you, and whether or not you know it, it affects everything you do for the entire day. Don’t hesitate to follow up on it — the good news is that you should be quite relieved and happy about what you discover, and closer to a loved one too.

-Thank you.

“It’s crazy how in such a short amount of time we could get so close.”
It’s even more crazy how in such a short amount of time, people can drift away.

“…I know that you have been going through some problems lately but I know you will make it through. If you ever need someone to talk to…”

One of the worst feelings is when you’re told something heartfelt (especially from someone you deeply care about) and down the road, you look back at what they say and it doesn’t apply anymore.

Some people have it worse than others. The verbal comfort/support may not apply simply because friends come and go, while others suffer this experience due to an event that caused the relationship to crumble, resulting to all the comfort, support, compliments, etc. to no longer be applicable/meaningful.
“I meant it when I said it…”
Key words: meant, said — past tense

When words that once made your day, words that once made you smile every time you thought about it no longer apply; even worse, when someone says something you’ve always valued, and they no longer stand by what they say…and it’s later said to someone else - it’s hard to accept, and it’s definitely hard to endure.

                                                                          * * *

Look at it from a different perspective. So one person no longer stands by what they say, there are millions of people out there. You’re going to find a bunch of people who’ll say things you have never heard before. They’ll make you incredibly happy and they’ll make you feel twice as good as the previous person, and the best thing is, they’ll stand by what they say no matter what. Regardless of any future distance, arguments, separation, etc. they will stand by every word they said to you. With these types of people in your life, you will be able to cope through anything.

Light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness. Although a tear may be ever so near. That’s the time you must keep on trying. Smile - what’s the use of crying? You’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.

Take a look around, there’s so much more to smile about.

(via nikkiegalinato)

Tolerance: tending to permit, allow, understand, or accept something; tending to withstand or survive.

Overcome: to surmount a physical or abstract obstacle.

Difficulties: a condition or state of affairs almost beyond one’s ability to deal with and requiring great effort to bear.

Overreact: a reaction with inappropriate emotional behavior.

I will admit that I am one of these people. I fill my time up by occupying myself with productivity. The more I try to handle, the more I become tense, the more I stress myself out. When I’m stressed, that’s when every other issue appears, and I end up in a confusing predicament to where I don’t even know where to begin to find relief. I get easily irritated and become frustrated. When it all piles up, I eventually break down. Some see it as overreacting. I see it otherwise.

When I get irritated and frustrated, I don’t always mention it. The way I see it is “choosing my battles”. Not every little thing has to be brought up and be fussed over. Personally, it’s common sense to not waste time on something of little importance. When I finally do express my reaction towards an issue, it’s when everything has been boiled up to the surface and I become emotional. It’s not like I try to show this side of me to all my friends and loved ones. I don’t like ruining a perfectly good time for everyone. When I do have these emotional break downs, it’s over something of importance to me and worth my time.

Tolerance… Some who see me in times like these, think I’m overreacting. Those who know me, know I’m not. I tolerate myself in a way that I know I can and in a way that best works for me.

There’s different perspectives on looking at this and as always, personal opinions are always involved. Everyone goes through a period of time when life seems as if it’s crumbling down on them and they react likewise or contrariwise. It really just depends on what you find of importance and of unimportance and what you’re truly reacting upon to make it seem as overreacting. We all eventually tolerate and overcome it somehow. “Life goes on”.

P.S.: Just a reminder, this is through my perspective and my experiences.

Hello Baby Sister,

I’m not here writing right next to you on your tumblr, I promise. :D Ok, so I lied. I love you Baby Sister! Today was a good day, yummy wingstop and you were so hyper, it was adorable!! Mmmhmm, so we gotta do things like that again, and sorry it took me like 3 hours just to meet up with you, I tried to rush and went the wrong way! -_- Yayy I’ve officially hacked your tumblr! You’re the best little sister in the world! Always and forever!

<33333 Valeria =DDDDD

lovemayism:

The world hasn’t made me cold hearted. The bitterness didn’t steal my sweetness. And I have pride that the world may disagree with but I still believe it to be a beautiful place.

Pisces Horoscope of April 24, 2010:

Your strong opinions are your own; not everyone shares them. Remember diplomacy.

You want to spend time with someone today — but not just anyone. You’ve never had a problem with your own company, of course, and that means you’re choosy about who you’re with for the next couple of days. That goes even more so for the rest of your life, of course. Whether this current interest knows it or not, if you’ve chosen to spend even an hour or two with them, they should feel highly pleased with themselves.

Someone may be looking to you for relationship advice now. Instead of comparing yours with theirs (or their lack of one), take the diplomatic route and discuss it in a general, open-ended way.

-The BBQ turned out to be really comforting with my friends. Never thought that I’d be able to crack some oysters open. One cut and stabbed once, not so bad. I missed out on some good meat though :(. Thanks for the talk mama and lola (HAHA) and I hope things go well with your situation. In the end, things came up, some had issues to deal with, and I left home unsatisfied. *I hate lingering problems for days.. an absolute pet peeve.

Pisces Daily Horoscope of April 25, 2010:

Some cleanup is overdue. Clean out any old junk you’ve saved. And let in sunshine!

Are you judging yourself too harshly? If your past is any judge, the answer is probably yes, but that shouldn’t stop you from making a change today. Ease up and let yourself have a pass this time.

The good news is you’ve got more time to yourself today, and you can stay up as late as you like without worrying about having no energy, a terrible headache and seriously red eyes tomorrow. The even better news is that there’s no bad news. You’re due for a great evening, especially if you spend it with someone you’ve just met and find fascinating — and you don’t have any trouble convincing them!

-Somehow, I woke up feeling like everything was to be blamed on me. I don’t know if it is, but for sure, my point was not brought to be the main point. I went to my niece’s baptism. My cousin is, too, funny. I got to play with my brother’s D5000. It’s pretty cool. It was funny watching Prince trying to take pictures, haha. Nathan made fun of him after. After the christening, I had work, so I couldn’t join the family for the reception. Work, surprisingly, was very busy on a Sunday -__- and when it’s busy, I get sales. Co-worker was called in and we’ve been paired up from the beginning to do sales. We actually enjoy being in that zone. Though we were left with 20+ racks, by the end of the night, we left 2 racks for the openers today. Good job everyone! Prince picked me up, ate a little bit, and knocked out. Looking a bit crappy today. :p

(via lovemayism)

This applies to many situations under different circumstances.

Some have been through this same situation growing up as I have. I’m sure this is a common issue people my age and were once my age complained about, which is…

FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER THE HECK I WANT.

My parents, they’re pretty lenient with me going out. Sometimes, I just don’t understand their rationality within their decisions. Parents are parents for a reason and are only looking for what’s best for their child/children. I understand that, but in some cases, it doesn’t apply. My parents honestly don’t know who they’ve raised me to be, which doesn’t help because they don’t trust me enough. In my position, it’s not enough, which leads to less freedom.

Before I continue, let me explain my terms on freedom. I’m not asking my parents to let me go out every single day. I enjoy spending majority of my time at home. Especially with school and work, who wouldn’t want to go home and rest for the next couple of days? What I’m asking from them is to allow me to spend the time I do have free from school and work the way I want to. For example, I’m on spring break, but my parents don’t care if it’s break, or even if I don’t have school for the rest of the year, they still want me home every night. I just want to be able to breathe and start to build the life that doesn’t always depend on them for everything. It’s a part of growing up.

I know my parents worry, and they want to know exactly where I’m at and who I’m with at all times. Under certain circumstances, I have no problem telling them, just because I know my parents well enough to their judgmental opinions. So, like I said, they’re pretty lenient with me, but when times like these come, where they want me home real early for no apparent reason, just irritates the heck out of me. Usually happens when I’m hanging out with my brothers and our friends. I understand their opinions on that, but honestly, I could care less if that was their thoughts. It’s not what my generation has grown up to believe and we have our morals.

My parents put the most pressure on me than any of my siblings, to what I believe is so. As beings in this life, we’re all bound to make mistakes and those mistakes that my brothers have made were put on me. Not only am I the youngest, the only girl, but I’m the last my parents have hope in achieving their wishes down the “right” path.

My parents really don’t know me enough. They hardly trust me nor have much faith in me. This has been a constant problem from the get-go and it gets me all the time. It irritates me to the fullest and I know there’s really nothing I can do about it as of now. My brother told me that I just have to suck it up and deal with them and how they are for the meantime, but I’m just as stubborn as them put together. On my way home, I thought about pride. From what I’ve been taught… too, much pride is never a good thing. That’s when I remembered one of my morals. No matter who may hurt me, forgive and accept. Forgive and accept goes hand in hand with another moral of mine: give and receive nothing by request. I’ve just always thought of it as give, give, give… and you’ll receive what you deserve.  Forgive and accept also goes hand in hand with work hard in order to get what you want. Give and you’re working hard to earn the ‘wants’ you deserve. Forgive and accept, and you still hold your head up high.

P.S: Just a reminder, this is just my perspective and my experiences.

lovemayism:

& I can’t force things to happen because it just doesn’t work that way. I guess I’ll just let things fall in place because if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. One of the things where the saying,”It is what it is”, just goes. Life goes on.

(via missapl, in-imitable)

missapl:

mariannmaeee:

Don’t wait for time. Make it.
Don’t wait for love. Feel it.
Don’t wait for money. Earn it.
Don’t wait for the path. Find it.
Don’t wait for opportunity. Create it.
Don’t go for less. Get the best.
Don’t compare. Be unique.
Don’t fight your misfortune. Transform it.
Don’t avoid failure. Use it.
Don’t dwell on mistake. Learn from it.
Don’t back down. Go around.
Don’t close your eyes. Open your mind.
Don’t run from life. Embrace it.

nikkiegalinato:

Get on this.

www.wearehalloway.com

Bringing realizations up again since I deleted my old tumblr. Just like daydreams.

SO… realization number one…

As time flies by, I have my moments where I reminisce on how I was; from point A to point B. I could go on with an alphabet, but it’s like every change resets everything. So really, I’d be past point Z, but just follow along with it. So, I’m laying in bed and I’m thinking of how I was 5-8 months ago. I was very content with how I was. I’m not going to lie, I really was. I’m speaking in terms of personality-wise and how I reacted to everything. I’m not one to be cocky, conceited, what you will. I felt like nothing could go wrong, and I lived life with confidence and determination, hand in hand. Like I said, time flies by and change comes around one way or another. Either choice I were to make would have made a difference and I chose to take this path that I’m currently on, considering that I’m going to have to make certain changes, but… it’s worth it. In all honesty, I can say I live life with only one regret. It’s probably one of the most common regrets that anyone would have, which is school. Besides that, all of the choices I’ve made in life, I’ve never regretted. Some situations, the consequences turned out atrocious, but they were nothing I wasn’t willing to face. How I looked upon them was by telling myself “This is what you chose, and this is what you get. Deal with your consequences.” True, I may have not deserved all of what has been handed to me, who hasn’t? In some cases, my time and strength’s not worth using to prove myself. Sometimes, just knowing yourself, serves just fine. So, I’m on this path that I believe is worth taking and I’m comparing the ‘not so long ago me’ to the ‘me’ now. In a sense, I feel like I’ve lost who I was, but I know I didn’t lose who I am. I feel that I’m losing grip of that strong foundation I started out with, but it’s not completely gone. What life allows us to do when new beginnings happen, is to adapt. I consider adaption a mixed blessing, if you will. It’s what we all go through, every stage of our lives, every day we live, every choice we make. Though, I feel how I feel, a strong foundation remains and only continues to become stronger. Just have to keep a tight grip on it, I suppose. I said I was very content with how I was. I’m extremely content and over-satisfied with how I am now, with the gift to realize and remember who I was and who I am now.

Goal: Strong foundation.

Can’t wait to own my own house.

I think I’d go crazy with designing every room. I just might have too much fun. :p